dickdefeater:

what-is-fanart-even:

johnnyjoestarrelatable:

mr karp i don’t feel so good

i forgot that the guy’s name who first made this website’s name was david karp i thought you misspelled mr. krabs but i didn’t want you to feel bad

alexander:

oddballwaterfall:

emilianadarling:

holy fuck you guys 

after years of being vaguely confused when I came across the measurement “a stick of butter” in recipes, today I learned that in the United States they sell butter in these skinny stick things:

it is literally a stick of butter. A STICK OF BUTTER. 

i have literally never seen butter sold this way. each stick one only amounts to ½ a cup of butter AMERICANS PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT MY WHOLE LIFE WHEN I SAW THE PHRASE “A STICK OF BUTTER” IN RECIPES I WAS IMAGINING THIS:

THIS IS THE ONLY “STICK” I’D EVER SEEN BUTTER SOLD IN. I THOUGHT Y’ALL WERE THROWING FUCKIN’ POUNDS UPON POUNDS OF BUTTER INTO THINGS HOLY JESUS THE WORLD MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW FUCKIN CHRIST. 

I love little foreign confusion things like this

we’re still throwing pounds of butter in shit just using more wrappers

bpdangelic:

H ard to love
O bnoxious
T errible

hungwy:

hungwy:

In my mind I’m constantly doing yoshi’s down+b noise

BRRRRING HÆH

canadad:

RIP (reeses in pieces)

thebootydiaries:

bowtie-boy:

thebootydiaries:

on the way to walmart to return this ouija board after it asked me for feet pics

why didn’t u give the feet pics op

for free? I’m about my bread

pettydavis:

k1mkardashian:

thistickles:

k1mkardashian:

tbh i was kinda disappointed the first time i sucked a dick. idk what i expected it to taste like but i was just like “oh okay”

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

does that person know they LITERALLY invented comedy??? do they really know????